A case of romantic deception made headlines this week when Clark Rockefeller, of Cornish, NH and Boston kidnapped his seven year old daughter Reigh. The man, who claimed to be a descendant of the Rockefeller family, appears to be anything but. The 48-year-old was a spinner of tales who wore Brooks Brothers suits and ascots and spoke with a classic WASP accent. Yet he has no driver’s license, no passport, no social security number and no apparent history before 1990. Oh yeah, he was married to Reigh’s mother on Nantucket in 1995 but there is no recorded marriage license.
Luckily, both Rockefeller and his daughter were found Saturday safe and sound. Rockefeller had whisked his daughter to Maryland where it appeared he was about to start a new life with a new name and a new home. Today he is being extradited back to Boston where he faces charges of felony custodial kidnapping, assault and battery and assault and battery with a dangerous weapon.
Reigh’s mother divorced Rockefeller in December. According to a friend close to the couple, she had discovered that Rockefeller was a fraud. Rockefeller has several aliases and has told people he attended Harvard and Yale. He suggested to friends that he was working for the Pentagon, either as a mathematician or physicist. He claimed his parents were killed in an auto accident. During the divorce Rockefeller was given the option to reveal his true identity or to give up custody of the daughter he, by all accounts, raised as a full time dad. He chose to let his daughter go rather than unveil his identity.
But the true lesson here is that even the best and brightest can be duped by romantic impostors. Rockefeller’s wife, Sandra Boss, is a London-based financier earning well over a million a year. She is a graduate of Stanford and Harvard Business School. It’s not clear when the marriage began to crack or when she discovered that Clark wasn’t who he claimed to be. The divorce decree is sealed and she has leaked little to the media.
This case clearly epitomizes what Dr. Caldwell states in her book, Romantic Deception, “Ask me who’s vulnerable to Romantic Deception, and high on my list will be the woman who was raised right. Show me a woman who believes in honesty and I’ll show you a woman who finds it hard to even imagine that she could get mixed up with a big-time liar.”
The true identity of Clark Rockefeller will surely be exposed soon. Boston has assigned detectives to the case and the FBI is involved as well. The arm-chair detectives among us are also dying to know. And the one person who undoubtedly cares the most has to be Sandra Boss. Had she had the wherewithal to check Clark out before they got involved, she might have saved herself a lot of heartache and a ton of money.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Proceed With Caution When Hiring a Private Investigator
Much of what I needed to know about my ex I was able to dig up on my own through online databases, but there was one nagging piece that I needed an answer to. Bob* told me he had never been married. The evidence supported that. I met many of his friends and his entire family. No one indicated that he'd been married before. But when he moved his numerous possessions out of my house the day the relationship ended, he left behind several items that raised suspicion.
These items were household goods, new, and still in the original boxes. He told me that he'd received one or more of the items as awards from golf tournaments. But these were household goods, not typical golf incentives: a cappuccino machine, hand mixer, juicer, dishes, glassware, about ten items in total. They looked a lot like wedding or shower gifts. I wondered if he had lied about his marital history as well as his financial situation.
So I asked a local PI to conduct a background check just to be sure. Weeks passed and my curiosity grew. One day I received an email from the PI asking me to call him regarding the investigation. Our conversation was shrouded in mystery. He told me he could not tell me everything he had found out, or how he had found the information, but he declared – in no uncertain terms – that Bob was currently married! I can't tell you what a shock that was to hear. We had ended the relationship just two months prior so I knew that the marriage was not a recent one. My mind raced with how he could possibly have hid a current marriage. I asked the PI for details but he refused to tell me more.
My mind reeled and my heart sank at the thought of this level of deception. I thought perhaps there had been a previous, brief marriage, but never did I imagine a current marriage. It took me about 24 hours to gain my composure and to put into action my own search for the truth. I emailed an associate of the PI who was involved in the initial search. I was able to pry a "possible" first name and age of the "wife" from the associate who relayed what he could remember. My next stop was the Registry of Vital Records where I met a sweet and helpful employee who performed a search of the marriage records for me. No marriage record turned up for Bob.
I spent innumerable hours online searching the name I was given. Nothing turned up that linked Bob to a potential wife. It took some time, and much angst, but I finally began to realize that the person the PI so adamantly claimed was his wife, was in fact his sister. This fact was later confirmed through another PI who, upon hearing my story, offered to conduct a database search for me.
The moral of this post is: Take every nugget you receive with a grain of salt. Not all information you, or a private investigator, pulls from a database is reliable. The PI who performed the initial search could have saved me much pain simply by qualifying his investigative results. Apparently he found a woman's name linked to the address Bob currently resided at (his parents' home). The woman's age was around Bob's age. The PI made a huge leap by assuming that it was a wife and not another relative.
Databases are subject to human error upon inputting data. Reports available on the Web from sources like peoplefinders.com and intellius.com, among others, offer very basic information and cost money to view. Much of the information they provide is available for free if you know where to look for it. The information on these reports is also not always current and in many cases inaccurate or unavailable. It cannot be relied upon. Beware that what they offer may not be available in your state. For example, usa-people-search.com offers a "Comprehensive Background Check" for $39.95 that includes marriage and divorce records. What you don't see is that in Massachusetts, marriage records are not available online, so you will not receive any marital information on someone you check in the state of Massachusetts.
I also have been told that intellius.com offers to provide a telephone number for $2.95. What they don't tell you is that the number may not be for the individual you are seeking. It could be any individual by the same name in that state. They also have a no refund policy. Buyer beware.
Bottom line: Hire a reputable private investigator. Investigate the investigator. Make sure he or she has credentials and is licensed if licensing is required in your state. Check references as well. Ask to see certified copies of marriage licenses before believing that the individual you are checking is truly married. Take information obtained from databases with a bit of skepticism.
* Name has been changed.
These items were household goods, new, and still in the original boxes. He told me that he'd received one or more of the items as awards from golf tournaments. But these were household goods, not typical golf incentives: a cappuccino machine, hand mixer, juicer, dishes, glassware, about ten items in total. They looked a lot like wedding or shower gifts. I wondered if he had lied about his marital history as well as his financial situation.
So I asked a local PI to conduct a background check just to be sure. Weeks passed and my curiosity grew. One day I received an email from the PI asking me to call him regarding the investigation. Our conversation was shrouded in mystery. He told me he could not tell me everything he had found out, or how he had found the information, but he declared – in no uncertain terms – that Bob was currently married! I can't tell you what a shock that was to hear. We had ended the relationship just two months prior so I knew that the marriage was not a recent one. My mind raced with how he could possibly have hid a current marriage. I asked the PI for details but he refused to tell me more.
My mind reeled and my heart sank at the thought of this level of deception. I thought perhaps there had been a previous, brief marriage, but never did I imagine a current marriage. It took me about 24 hours to gain my composure and to put into action my own search for the truth. I emailed an associate of the PI who was involved in the initial search. I was able to pry a "possible" first name and age of the "wife" from the associate who relayed what he could remember. My next stop was the Registry of Vital Records where I met a sweet and helpful employee who performed a search of the marriage records for me. No marriage record turned up for Bob.
I spent innumerable hours online searching the name I was given. Nothing turned up that linked Bob to a potential wife. It took some time, and much angst, but I finally began to realize that the person the PI so adamantly claimed was his wife, was in fact his sister. This fact was later confirmed through another PI who, upon hearing my story, offered to conduct a database search for me.
The moral of this post is: Take every nugget you receive with a grain of salt. Not all information you, or a private investigator, pulls from a database is reliable. The PI who performed the initial search could have saved me much pain simply by qualifying his investigative results. Apparently he found a woman's name linked to the address Bob currently resided at (his parents' home). The woman's age was around Bob's age. The PI made a huge leap by assuming that it was a wife and not another relative.
Databases are subject to human error upon inputting data. Reports available on the Web from sources like peoplefinders.com and intellius.com, among others, offer very basic information and cost money to view. Much of the information they provide is available for free if you know where to look for it. The information on these reports is also not always current and in many cases inaccurate or unavailable. It cannot be relied upon. Beware that what they offer may not be available in your state. For example, usa-people-search.com offers a "Comprehensive Background Check" for $39.95 that includes marriage and divorce records. What you don't see is that in Massachusetts, marriage records are not available online, so you will not receive any marital information on someone you check in the state of Massachusetts.
I also have been told that intellius.com offers to provide a telephone number for $2.95. What they don't tell you is that the number may not be for the individual you are seeking. It could be any individual by the same name in that state. They also have a no refund policy. Buyer beware.
Bottom line: Hire a reputable private investigator. Investigate the investigator. Make sure he or she has credentials and is licensed if licensing is required in your state. Check references as well. Ask to see certified copies of marriage licenses before believing that the individual you are checking is truly married. Take information obtained from databases with a bit of skepticism.
* Name has been changed.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Digging up Nuggets
As an innate detective and now a student of professional investigation, it is amazing the amount of information I was able to dig up on my ex simply by using the World Wide Web. Today I will share with you some of the sites I found that provided nuggets of information about my ex and uncovered some of the lies he told.
The first lie from Bob came even before we met in person. We met through an online dating site and emailed each other for a couple weeks before finally meeting. One of the first emails he sent said that he now lived in an apartment, but that he had previously owned a home which he sold to move closer to his job. He said that he had chosen to live in an apartment because he didn't want to deal with the maintenance required in owning a home. A public record search of deeds showed that he did own a home but he didn't sell it, it went to foreclosure. The reason he was living in an apartment was not so he could avoid home maintenance, it was because he had filed for bankruptcy and wouldn't be able to get a loan on a home. Check out www.masslandrecords.com for online searching.
A few days later he "remembered" he did own a home! He had forgotten when he wrote the last email! The reason he didn't remember was because he had just bought the house and it was income property. Wrong again. He did buy the house but a search of the deeds showed that he bought it from a close friend. Later, he admitted that even though the house was in his name, he didn't collect the rent on the property, pay the mortgage or the taxes, or do any of the maintenance. The friend took care of everything. A search on the friend at www.pipl.com turned up a government article stating that the friend, an attorney, had misappropriated funds for one of his clients, a child, and had lost his license to practice for three years. My guess is the friend was hiding assets but that I'll never know.
Another interesting piece to the puzzle turned up at www.archive.org. Bob said he had 50% ownership in a company he worked for. I was suspicious because the partner really put himself out there as the true owner. This website allows you to look at historical data on a website. That means that I can access their company website from previous years even though that site is no longer available on the web. I was able to see that as of December 2006, both men were listed on their website as "principals" with both photos side by side. But in January 2007 the site changed. The partner became President and CEO and Bob became Vice President of Sales. I put on my detective hat and surmise that they once were 50-50 partners but that must have changed in January 2007.
And one last site for now. You can also check out corporate ownership (and officers) through your state government site. Corporate filings are available, in the state of Massachusetts, at www.sec.state.ma.us. Just one more nugget to support my theory.
The first lie from Bob came even before we met in person. We met through an online dating site and emailed each other for a couple weeks before finally meeting. One of the first emails he sent said that he now lived in an apartment, but that he had previously owned a home which he sold to move closer to his job. He said that he had chosen to live in an apartment because he didn't want to deal with the maintenance required in owning a home. A public record search of deeds showed that he did own a home but he didn't sell it, it went to foreclosure. The reason he was living in an apartment was not so he could avoid home maintenance, it was because he had filed for bankruptcy and wouldn't be able to get a loan on a home. Check out www.masslandrecords.com for online searching.
A few days later he "remembered" he did own a home! He had forgotten when he wrote the last email! The reason he didn't remember was because he had just bought the house and it was income property. Wrong again. He did buy the house but a search of the deeds showed that he bought it from a close friend. Later, he admitted that even though the house was in his name, he didn't collect the rent on the property, pay the mortgage or the taxes, or do any of the maintenance. The friend took care of everything. A search on the friend at www.pipl.com turned up a government article stating that the friend, an attorney, had misappropriated funds for one of his clients, a child, and had lost his license to practice for three years. My guess is the friend was hiding assets but that I'll never know.
Another interesting piece to the puzzle turned up at www.archive.org. Bob said he had 50% ownership in a company he worked for. I was suspicious because the partner really put himself out there as the true owner. This website allows you to look at historical data on a website. That means that I can access their company website from previous years even though that site is no longer available on the web. I was able to see that as of December 2006, both men were listed on their website as "principals" with both photos side by side. But in January 2007 the site changed. The partner became President and CEO and Bob became Vice President of Sales. I put on my detective hat and surmise that they once were 50-50 partners but that must have changed in January 2007.
And one last site for now. You can also check out corporate ownership (and officers) through your state government site. Corporate filings are available, in the state of Massachusetts, at www.sec.state.ma.us. Just one more nugget to support my theory.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Is he a great date, possible mate or total fake?
Romantic deception has become a hot topic. It is covered mostly by talk shows and news magazines like Dateline, 20/20 and 48 Hours. Just last week Dr. Phil had a guest – not his first – who had been taken by someone she met while on vacation. She fell in love with a man who claimed to be an ex-NFL player. She asserts he took her for $100,000.
Impostors can show up anywhere...online, at the supermarket, even at church. We are, by nature a trusting society when it comes to what people tell us. I don't know about you, but I don't generally jump to the conclusion that someone is being dishonest about who he or she is.
Victims come in many forms and are not necessarily lonely women longing for companionship. Secure, strong, independent individuals can become victims too. We are, according to Dr. Sally Caldwell, author of the book Romantic Deception, biased toward the truth, "Much like the horror that the neighbors usually express when they learn that the man next door has just been nabbed for being a serial murderer, it's very difficult for well-socialized truth tellers to even contemplate that they could be mixed up with a big-time liar." Dr. Caldwell goes on to state, "Ask me who's vulnerable to Romantic Deception, and high on my list will be the woman who was raised right."
Impostors always break hearts. Romance, built on lies, is not a foundation for a long-term commitment. Most impostors claim to have a higher level of education, better job histories, and greater assets than in reality. Some carry heavy financial burdens. Some are married. Some have criminal histories. All make it difficult to ever trust again.
There are ways to discover if your potential mate is all that he or she claims to be. Consider for a moment the amount of time you put into investigating a home purchase. Or the due diligence typical before buying a business, a new car, or any other large purchase. Why wouldn't you, as a matter of course, investigate someone who will have access to your finances? Someone who has the power to take you for everything you own and ruin your credit? And what if he has a violent or criminal past you know nothing about?
This site is a resource for anyone who wants to learn more about a partner before commiting to living together, becoming engaged, and getting married. Our goal is to provide the resources necessary to conduct your own background check on a potential partner or to hire a private investigator to conduct the background check for you.
If you have a story to tell, we hope you will share it with us and others who visit this site. Too often we believe it cannot happen to us. When it does, we are caught off guard and find ourselves second guessing our instincts. You can help others by sharing your personal experience with romantic deception.
Impostors can show up anywhere...online, at the supermarket, even at church. We are, by nature a trusting society when it comes to what people tell us. I don't know about you, but I don't generally jump to the conclusion that someone is being dishonest about who he or she is.
Victims come in many forms and are not necessarily lonely women longing for companionship. Secure, strong, independent individuals can become victims too. We are, according to Dr. Sally Caldwell, author of the book Romantic Deception, biased toward the truth, "Much like the horror that the neighbors usually express when they learn that the man next door has just been nabbed for being a serial murderer, it's very difficult for well-socialized truth tellers to even contemplate that they could be mixed up with a big-time liar." Dr. Caldwell goes on to state, "Ask me who's vulnerable to Romantic Deception, and high on my list will be the woman who was raised right."
Impostors always break hearts. Romance, built on lies, is not a foundation for a long-term commitment. Most impostors claim to have a higher level of education, better job histories, and greater assets than in reality. Some carry heavy financial burdens. Some are married. Some have criminal histories. All make it difficult to ever trust again.
There are ways to discover if your potential mate is all that he or she claims to be. Consider for a moment the amount of time you put into investigating a home purchase. Or the due diligence typical before buying a business, a new car, or any other large purchase. Why wouldn't you, as a matter of course, investigate someone who will have access to your finances? Someone who has the power to take you for everything you own and ruin your credit? And what if he has a violent or criminal past you know nothing about?
This site is a resource for anyone who wants to learn more about a partner before commiting to living together, becoming engaged, and getting married. Our goal is to provide the resources necessary to conduct your own background check on a potential partner or to hire a private investigator to conduct the background check for you.
If you have a story to tell, we hope you will share it with us and others who visit this site. Too often we believe it cannot happen to us. When it does, we are caught off guard and find ourselves second guessing our instincts. You can help others by sharing your personal experience with romantic deception.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
